You can't have it both ways

I'm always the one who organisies things. Meeting for coffee, uni-related group projects, Nights out, birthdays, etc etc - you name it; I've arranged it. Mostly I don't really mind this and being a control-freak I feel quite comfortable doing so. Infact, a lot of the time I would rather do it. However, there are always people to take this ability to get people in one place at one time successfully and turn it into a criticism of you, which soon enough becomes a nuclear bomb of self doubt and a feeling as though you are miss jean brodie being force fed a chill pill.

I understand that people probably do appriciate such organisation really, but the opposite manifests itself so often in "you ALWAYS make facebook events for EVERYTHING", "Yes, I KNOW its tomorrow", "Why do I have to pay in advance?", "Do you HAVE to book it?" and so forth. Maybe people just don't like being told what to do. Maybe people take my corralling as some sort of criticism of their own ability to organise themselves? Maybe being told what/when/where/why by someone harks back to being a child living with their parents and being constantly harrassed? Either way, I do what I can (and in the least intrusive or naggy ways that I can) to sort out a get-together and all I get are peoples snidey remarks and a feeling as though all the stress isn't worth it.

Thinking of this often, I sometimes decide not to involve myself in the organisation, to just arrive and have done. Two things become apparent. Firstly, as my better half pointed out the last time, the thing sucks. The un-booked restaurants are full or have an hour long wait, the cinema times at that cinema don't suit those getting a bus home, moblie reception is lost and someone ends up not finding the group and so on until one by one people just decide to leave. This coincides with a general indecisiveness that falls on the members of groups and no-one wanting to stand out. Secondly, should such occurr, I sometimes find myself being looked to for all the answers and to make all the decisions. I have to say "lets try and go here" only to find out that someone HATES that place and I am therefore enforcing my regime upon them. And from then on I am thought of to LOVE that place that someone didnt want to go to and turned out to be kinda crap anyway. There is no way to win.

So I resign myself to organising everything, all the time, and just have to take the negatives with it. Who said marriage is hard work? It's keeping a fluid and slippery group of loosley associated people together for 2 hours that is the challenge. And for them actually to enjoy it? Well thats another objective altogether.

All I ask is that now and again when the phrase "You always...go there/do this/text me that etc" is about to come out of your mouth... just consider that maybe the person who arranged what you are participating in had the honest intention of making the event a success and enjoying it with all the people they like there, and keep it in, or even say thanks.