Resolved

It's that time of year, the end of the year. A few people have blogged about resolutions that I have read now and it's about time I did the same. I also need to recap on this year as a whole as a lot has happened and aulthough things appear pretty much the same, a lot has changed for me in a non-tangible sense.

I started this blog on a whim. An old friend from school had started one based on her resolutions to track her progress and successes in trying to keep them. It wasn't really the resolution idea that I emulated - indeed, I never even bothered to post my resolutions on this blog when I started it and instead threw them into the black hole of facebook, never to be found again - it was more the honest out-pouring of her thoughts that I admired. I think I have always been an evocative person and putting my feelings into words and prose hasn't been an issue, but it was the outlet to an extent, and the actual process of doing it, which I had lost in the year or two prior. I had lost a lot more in 2007-9 that just that and being on the edge of the new leaf, a metaphorical blank piece of paper seemed very appealling. I added a quick scheme - later to be changed to match my tumblr or "lite" version of this blog - and was away. When I was young I would write. I would write stories, notes and random thoughts. I never had the decidation to the scheme that the journal keeper or diarist had, but I still keep some old notebooks with quite lyrical text scrawled in. I lost this when I went to university. Seeing all these blogs with their curious themes and imaginative protrayals of their keepers inspired me, not to mention the fact someone I used to see at school most days was laying down more of her life on a daily basis that I was in a year. I admired the openness with which she typed and the fact she was able to put her honest self out there and not care what people thought of her. I suppose it is a far cry from days past. This was what I tried to repeat, only with my own personality as the guide. I think one of the key themes which has characterised this year for me has been the fine tuning of my personality, well, what I mean is my acceptance and willingness to promote it.

So, getting down to the resolutions themselves! I'm going to use some styling here for e f f e c t. I am also not going to go into terrible detail for some as I feel my older post in the sunshine and in the shade has already done this to some extent. I also would like to note this as what I think of as my most accomplished blog this year, the one which matches what I outlined as setting out to do most successfully.

1. Play with Molly and Maisie more so Molly isn't too fat
Stuart and I got Molly and Maisie almost two years ago and we were attentive cat-parents. Part of this was reading the side of the bag of - the most vet recommended, and expensive I might add - cat food and doling out rations in way prescribed based on our cats weights. Suffice to say we were a bit shocked when the vet blatently told us that Molly was overweight. But we did what the - very expensive and YOU recommened - cat food bag instructions said! No, no, no. You see, our cats are indoor cats, to avoid car squishings of little meatbags, and they don't expend much energy, especially seeing as they sleep basically ALL the time, and that's too much food. So we were to experiment with "indoor cat" (i.e. reduced calorie) cat food, smaller amounts more often and exercize. Yes, that's right for all you who want to lose weight, human or animal alike, you eat LESS and exercize MORE and you WILL lose weight. I can testify to it. So can little Molly. It worked and Stuart and I were delighted when we went to the vet to find that Molly was the perfect weight and very healthy. We were even more delighted by the fact that the vet liked their collars and was glad to have "some cuddly ones" for a change. So in terms of this resolution I can declare it to be well and truley kept.

2. Ride Mary-anne more.
This resolution represents basically the opposite of the previous one and a failure. My horse, Mary-anne, is happy as larry at grass but I always feel I should be up there much more. And I should. With university, wedding, running, cats, irractic car ownership and my general laziness I have not been riding Mary more. In fact, if anything I have ridden her less. Never one to like to fail, I will carry this resolution to 2011 and work harder on it next year.

3. Run a 10k.
In 2009 at the start of August my Mum invited me to take part in a charity 6k road race with the school she is a teacher at. She intended to walk it. We decided we would at least run it and soon started actually training and did run the 6k in full. Stuart did it too and we finished in 38 minutes. After this I thought, well if I can do that I can do a 10k too - only 4k more! So I aimed for the May 10k but that fell through. As I had made this resolution and May went by I felt bad. I was doing a lot of finals, sitting, studying, putting on a study belly, and with a wedding approaching, and not running. As soon as exams were over I signed us up to the Great Scottish Run 10k in september, the weekend after the wedding. Stuart and I combined training with wedding preparations and spent the summer this way. In september we completed the 10k in 1 hour and 8 minutes which I deem a very acceptable time, especially since I had the cold and suffered a nose bleed mid race! So I managed to keep this resolution. My aunt who also runs said to me, you know what they say, if you can do a 10k you can do a half marathon. I have decided not to add this to my resolutions for 2011 though, as I want my shins intact for the rest of my life.

4. Get Married.
This one was easy! Well, I was engaged when I made this resolution and we had set the date. I added it as a joke but the joke was on me with the ridiculous amount of minutiae that had to be organised for the event. Even still, I suppose I can mark this as a kept resolution too.

5. Graduate.
When I made this resolution I actually meant deep down to add "with first class honours" to the end of it but not only would that have been a jinx, it also seemed so big headed, especially when everyone around me would come into uni and go "a 60!?!... BRILLIANT" when I had just received the same mark and nearly died in disappointment. It all turned out ok though and I got the following marks for my classes: 84,78,75,70,68,65 which equates to a first :). Now I am doing my masters happily and it has kept me off the dire job market which it just fine by me. So, it is kept.

All in all I think that 4 of 5 kept is pretty good and like I said the one not accomplished will be carried over with me. I could easily put down my new resolutions here but for now I will hold off. It's only the 27th and I would like to make that post on the 1st of January, first post of the new blogging year. I get the feeling that my friend with the resolutions will also have had quite a lot of success in her keeping of them too and wish her the best. After I type this I will prod her to blog her results too!

As a round up of the year I really have to emphasise that 2010 has been the best year of my life. So many exciting and good things have happened and I don't know that I could have imagined anything else better at the start of the year. I've become more myself in my own body/mind this year that I have ever before and feel so comfortable. This has a lot to do with certain social aspects of my life and the realisation of certain truths that I have decuded from the array of events thrown at me this year.

I have finally understood what I view as the myth of friendship. I know who the meaningless people are, and I can accept that everyone is out for themselves. Several people have revealed their true colours to me this year and I am glad because not only are they no longer clouding my life, they are no longer clouding my judgement either. They have taught me more about human sociability and it has allowed me to keep the few true friends I have on my terms. I know not to need everything from a friendship, and I can value when a friend actually makes an effort to show their real intent. Lesley, Kirsty, Fiona and Jenny have in different ways been good friends to me on different levels and I appreciate that. I am happy to have my best friends - Stuart, Molly and Maisie. I am also eternally happy not to give a shit that my best friends are my husband and my cats - one is family and the others are linked to me like family in a social heirarchy which can't be abolished. I love them dearly. Molly is accompanying me currently to me left, purring like a machine and looking into my eyes with a look of need for love she so often has.

Along with this appreciation of the truth comes a new outlook. The idea of karma has connotations of either hippies, or my name is earl. Both good in different ways- but both fail to describe what I want so I will neglect that term. I believe in people getting out what they put in. If you put in nothing, you will get back nothing. If you do bad things, bad things will catch up with you. This is not a literal exchange nor immediate as often protrayed. It seems to be almost a balance that touches the general outline of life. It's not quite realise-able unless you really look for it. Good people have gotten good things this year and the bad people have gotten what's fair in return. Kidneys, boys, financial quagmires, psychological impediments to normal life. Is it wrong to feel like everything is right in my world because of this? I don't know, but what I do know is that I tried hard to do the right thing, and be a good person in 2010, and it worked out. I'm not going to question that in 2011.