Sunday 23 January 2011

control freakery

I am a control freak. And I don't mean this in a 'I prefer to be the driver than the passenger' kind of way. It's not like those tests you can take and they tell you what kind of personality group you tend towards. I tend towards nothing. I AM the personality group. I'm the red, hot centre of control freakery and I can't help it. That is why when I have not been keeping my resolutions or totally 100% up to date on university work I get agitated and disjointed. I feel like the world is askew and everything is tinted a slightly different colour. A nervous and vaguely wrong colour. Like anxiety, where something is not right but you can't say what and you get more nervous because the logic needed does not exist. Once I am a little less than in control of something than I would like to be I get even more antsy next time. It's an upward trend to becoming someone who can't do things in different ways to normal. I am such a creature of habit and routinised being it is unreal. This has gotten worse over the past few years. I need to stop it though. I am trying to. Just now I have lost a bit of control and I'm sucking it up. I haven't kept resolutions to the letter but I am going to update on the ways that I have progressed.

I ran last week. I will again this week.

I went to Mary-anne today and gave her a wee beauty treatment and a ride.

Stuart and I cooked our January 3 course meal. So things have been a bit hectic around here this weekend and it wasn't exactly a big reach in terms of ability on my part, but we did it. And it tasted good. Now I am going to go to bed having not done some of the things I would have liked to have done today - and I'm going to be okay with it.


Starter, by Me - Italian Tuna, Bean and Sundblush tomato Salad

Main, by Stuart - Pan Fried Pork Loin in Smoky Tomato Sauce

Desert, by Me, Yes, that's right it's just tea/coffee with ritter chocolate and a Fox's Caramel Chocolate Biscuit, but it was great.

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